Every year, Mother's Day comes to remind us of the immense role mothers play, a role that children may become accustomed to over time, but which is immense in the eyes of God and never lost. A mother's work is not merely visible; it is the care she carries in her heart, her constant concern for her children's well-being, her prayers for their happiness, her fear for their safety, her joy in their happiness, and her silent toil. As the years pass and the children grow older, some mothers may feel that their role is diminishing, that their children no longer need them as they once did, and a touch of silent sadness may enter their hearts.
Here, the mother needs to remember a profound meaning that will completely change her feelings: what she does for her children is not a favor for which she expects thanks, but a great act of worship for which she will be rewarded. Therefore, when God mentioned parents, He singled out the mother for hardship, saying:
"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] weakness upon weakness."
It is as if God is reminding every mother that her hardship is known to Him, preserved, and recorded, even if no one among the people sees it.
Based on this meaning, a mother should not expect appreciation from her children, even though this pleases her heart, but rather she should seek reward and ask for what is with God, because God’s honor is greater than any other honor, and nothing equals His reward.
But this does not mean that the mother should remain silent about her right to be treated with kindness. Proper upbringing means that the mother teaches her children how to treat her with kindness. Children love their mothers, but they do not know what a kind word, a short conversation, or a simple question can do for a mother.
And when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father."
This is guidance for the children, but it is also guidance for the mother to raise her children to respect and obey her, and consequently to appreciate her and preserve her status. This status is shown in the treatment, in the speech, and in the attention.
Therefore, tell your children what makes you happy, not as a complaint, but as a way of educating them. Tell them:
I would be happy if you would sit with me for a little while.
I am happy to be consulted.
I am happy that you ask about me.
I would be happy to hear a kind word from you.
Children learn righteousness when we explain it to them, because righteousness is not an occasion once a year, but a way of life.
Among the acts of righteousness that God has commanded is the righteousness of good manners before the righteousness of giving. Therefore, God Almighty said:
"So do not say to them [even] 'uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word."
Kind speech encompasses manner of speaking, tone of voice, attentive listening, and respect for opinions. Therefore, a mother has the right to have her voice heard, not to impose her opinion, but to maintain her position in her children's lives.
On the other hand, a mother needs to be mindful of how she asks her children for help. Not every reproach is appropriate, and not every reminder of her exhaustion brings the child closer. Some mothers frequently say, "I'm so tired of you," which, over time, can instill guilt in their children instead of motivating them to be dutiful. Words spoken with love, not reproach, are always the most effective.
Tell them:
I love being close to you.
I am happiest when we sit together.
What pleases me most is seeing you treat me kindly.
With these words you are not blaming, but rather planting the meaning of righteousness in their hearts.
Yet, despite all this, a mother's greatest gift remains prayer, for the hearts of her children are in God's hands, and a mother's prayer is never rejected. Instead of her heart being filled with sorrow, let it be filled with supplication: that God guide them, unite their hearts, and make them righteous.
And finally, remember, dear mother, that righteousness is not difficult for children if they learn it, as some of the predecessors said:
"Kindness is an easy thing: a cheerful face and a gentle tongue."
A smile, a kind word, a question, a consultation, a short session… small things in the eyes of children, but very big in the heart of a mother.
This is the message that many mothers do not say, not because they do not need to, but because they are used to giving more than they ask for, and loving more than they speak.
And don't forget, dear mother, that everything you offer is preserved with God. Every prayer, every effort, and every moment of patience is in the balance of your good deeds. So be close with love, calm with wisdom, and reassured that God sees, knows, and rewards with the most beautiful reward.