I heard one of the fathers say in surprise:
"It's strange how my children are not alike, even though they are brothers! They grew up and were raised in the same house, with the same parents and neighbors, but unfortunately, my little boy is not like his brother and does not match him in his cleverness!"
Let me say to this father:
If you planted a number of different seeds, placed them by a window, nurtured them in the same way, and made sure that each seed received the same amount of light, water, and care, would they all grow the same way and at the same speed just because they were in the same environment?
Of course not...
You will find that each seed has its own pace. The mustard seed is still a small bud, while the fenugreek seed is starting to show its stem and leaves, and the flax seed has grown a little ahead of it.
You will notice that no two plants are exactly alike. Glory be to God, who did not make things identical copies, but rather made difference a feature and a uniqueness, a difference of diversity without contradiction, and a difference of enrichment without exclusion.
God has given each seed its own distinctive characteristics, and made each person his own fingerprint.
Here I recall a beautiful letter written by a mother describing her children.
She likened them to the seven colors of the spectrum, and her description was full of tenderness and understanding; her youngest child, she said, was like yellow in his liveliness, jealousy, and enthusiasm, while her daughter was like green in her calm, giving, and religious devotion, and her firstborn was blue, sober, wise, and thoughtful.
She was creative in seeing each of them as they are, without comparison. Rather, she recognized their uniqueness and characteristics, and then she concluded her letter with a beautiful sentence:
“Praise be to God who has decorated my life with colors that fill it with joy, and I ask Him to help me deal with each one of them in a way that suits them.”
How many educators have this wisdom and this perceptive eye?
The mother who wrote the letter did not fall into the trap of comparison or the desire for replication.
You have cleverly touched on the root of the problem: the inability of some educators to respect individual differences.
The father who opened this article when he said to his young son, "Why can't you be as smart as your brother?" thought he was motivating him, but he unintentionally frustrated him and made him feel inferior.
❌ The comparison doesn't work that way.
Because when you plant a banana tree next to an orange tree, each one needs different care and produces different fruits, and what the conscious farmer does is what the wise breeder should do.
Even when the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, wanted to encourage Abdullah bin Omar, he did not compare him to anyone, but rather said:
Abdullah is a good man, if only he prayed at night.
✅ Praise what he has, and gently point out what he wishes for him.
Doesn't it be the child's right that we notice his uniqueness and privacy?
To know what he likes and dislikes?
To discover his strengths and weaknesses, to help him grow with confidence and calm?
Many educators think that children go through the same stages of development, at the same pace, and like the same things.
But the truth is that every child is unique, has his own way of expression and special needs.
Let's be more aware:
🌟 Every child has his own "color".
🌱 His nature is like no other
His fingerprint is unique and unrepeatable
It is not our right to force him to change. Rather, it is our duty to accept him as he is, love him unconditionally, and support him so that he can learn how to deal with his strengths and weaknesses.
We must then teach him that people are also different; they are similar in some things and different in others. This does not mean superiority, but rather the diversity that gives life its meaning.
Finally:
Be careful, educator, not to fall into the trap of comparison.
Appreciate differences, and be aware that competition does not mean conformity.
God Almighty said:
“And if your Lord had willed, He could have made mankind one community, but they will not cease to differ.”
God Almighty is true.