I heard one of the fathers say, surprised:
"It's strange how my children are not alike, even though they are brothers! They grew up in the same house, with the same parents and neighbors, but unfortunately, my youngest son is not like his brother and does not match him in cleverness!"
Let me say to this father:
If you planted a number of different seeds, placed them by the window, and cared for them in the same way, making sure that each seed received the same amount of light, water, and care, would they all grow in the same way and at the same speed simply because they were in the same environment?
Of course not…
You will find that each seed has its own pace. The mustard seed is still a small sprout, while the fenugreek has begun to show its stem and leaves, and the flax has grown a little ahead of it.
You will notice that no two plants are exactly alike. Glory be to God who did not make things identical copies, but rather made difference a feature and a uniqueness, a difference of diversity without contradiction, and a difference of enrichment without exclusion.
God has endowed every seed with distinctive characteristics, and given every human being their own unique fingerprint.
Here I recall a beautiful letter written by a mother describing her children.
She likened them to the seven colors of the spectrum, and her description was full of tenderness and understanding. She said that her youngest child resembled the color yellow in his vitality, jealousy, and enthusiasm, while her daughter resembled the color green in her calmness, generosity, and piety, and her eldest son was the color blue, sober, wise, and contemplative.
She excelled at seeing each of them as they truly were, without comparison, and recognized their unique qualities and strengths. She then concluded her message with a beautiful sentence:
"Praise be to God who has adorned my life with colors that fill it with joy, and I ask Him to help me deal with each one of them in a way that suits him."
How many educators possess this wisdom and this discerning eye?
The mother who wrote the letter did not fall into the trap of comparison or the desire for replication.
You have astutely touched upon the root of the problem: the inability of some educators to respect individual differences.
The father with whom we began the article, when he said to his young son: "Why can't you be as clever as your brother?", thought that he was motivating him, but - unintentionally - he frustrated him and made him feel inferior.
❌ The comparison doesn't work this way.
Because when you plant a banana tree next to an orange tree, each needs different care and produces different fruit, and what a conscious farmer does is what a wise educator should do.
Even the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), when he wanted to encourage Abdullah bin Omar, did not compare him to anyone, but said:
"What a fine man Abdullah is, if only he prayed at night."
✅ He praised what he had, and gently pointed out what he wished for him.
Isn't it the child's right for us to notice his uniqueness and privacy?
To know what he likes and what he dislikes?
To discover his strengths and weaknesses, in order to help him grow with confidence and calmness?
Many educators believe that children go through the same stages of development, at the same pace, and like the same things.
But the truth is that every child is unique, with their own way of expressing themselves and their own special needs.
Let's be more aware:
🌟 Every child has their own "color"
🌱 His nature is unlike anyone else's
🧠 His unique and unforgettable mark
It is not our right to force him to change, but rather our duty to accept him as he is, to love him unconditionally, and to support him so that he knows how to deal with his strengths and weaknesses.
We must then teach him that people are also different; they are similar in some things and different in others, and this does not mean superiority but rather diversity, which gives life its meaning.
In conclusion:
Be careful, educator, not to fall into the trap of comparison.
Appreciate the difference, and be aware that competition does not mean conformity.
God Almighty said:
"And if your Lord had willed, He could have made mankind one community; but they will not cease to differ."
God Almighty has spoken the truth.