In the early seventies, at Stanford University in the United States, psychologist Walter Mischel and Ibbie Epperson conducted the famous (marshmallow) experiment, which was later called the theory of success in life. The idea was simply that the child should sit in a room free of any means of distraction and a plate containing a piece of (marshmallow) candy should be placed in front of him. The child should choose between eating it immediately or waiting 15 minutes until it became two pieces. The researcher would leave him to decide alone in front of the delicious and attractive candy, whether to eat it or wait to get another. After the time was up, the researcher would return to fulfill his promise to those who were able to wait. The children's behavior was very amusing, as they smelled, licked, or kissed the candy. Michel noted that some children covered their eyes or turned their heads away from it, while others kicked the desk or squeezed the piece of candy. Most of them could not stand its delicious smell for more than three to five minutes and devoured half of it. Some of them could not wait and devoured it all as soon as the researcher left, and their percentage reached 70%, while only 30% of them were able to stay until the end of the time and received the reward. The first goal of the experiment was to identify the mental processes that these children took to control themselves and curb the desire.
What is remarkable is that this experiment did not become famous and was not covered by most of the media until decades later. The most important part of it became clear years later, when Michel followed up on the children’s performance later in their school classes. It was found that children who ate the candy quickly developed some behavioral problems at school and at home, in addition to lower exam results, while children who were able to wait for a quarter of an hour and were able to control themselves and showed strength represented in “delaying pleasure” performed better in many different life measures, all according to what their parents reported, and the results of studies by Michel and researchers after him over 40 years repeatedly. The group that was patient and waited for the second piece of candy achieved success in every area in which their development was measured. That is, this series of experiments proved with certainty that (your endurance and ability to be patient and delay immediate pleasure) is a major and definitely influential factor in your success in life. What the experiment proved is that a child is able to postpone his desires for a specific goal from the age of four, but this skill needs reinforcement, refinement and follow-up in order to bear fruit.
The children in the previous experiment refrained and were able to control themselves for the simple purpose of getting another piece of candy. What if the children knew that the price of fasting is entering Paradise? And the pleasure of God Almighty? What if the educators guided their children early on to the great goal of this divine school? Which is to be strong, capable and committed, for success requires that we leave comfort and distractions and endure the pain of discipline.
In the school of fasting, for more than fourteen hundred years, we have role models in the Companions and Followers. We see that the fasting believers, strong throughout Islamic history, did not stop their creativity, inventions, or conquests, and that abstaining from food and drink did not weaken them or make them unable to give and succeed; rather, on the contrary, it was a reason to motivate them to achieve and succeed.
Through fasting, we learn self-discipline and self-monitoring, as the Muslim is alone with all that he desires of food, drink, and other pleasures, and leaves them to please his Lord and in hope of the reward of fasting. It is the most important lesson that we must teach our children consciously and train them on early, and we should not postpone it on the pretext that they are young, but rather we start from the age of four so that the light of wisdom may precede them into their hearts and the beliefs may be established in their souls, just as the noble Companions, may God be pleased with them, used to make their children fast in their childhood to accustom them to this great act of obedience, just like prayer, although the command to do it comes at the age of seven, and the punishment for it at the age of ten, and the obligation to do it at puberty, we help the four- and five-year-old to love prayer, so we buy him the prayer rug, make him love work, and allow him to stand with us in congregational prayer. Thus, fasting needs practice and understanding of the purpose.
Why not start by introducing the young child to fasting and its meaning, encouraging them to endure hunger and thirst for a short time, or to abstain from one thing at a time, and then urging them to persevere? It's important not to compare the child to others, but rather to compare their ability to their own past self. This strengthens their sense of accomplishment and boosts their self-confidence. For example, we could say, "At the beginning of the month, you couldn't fast for more than an hour in the morning, and now three hours have passed and you're still steadfast. I'm certain that God is watching you, the angels are recording your reward, and God willing, you will enter through the gate of Al-Rayyan." In other words, we give them tangible reminders, like the gate of Al-Rayyan, to help them grasp the reward. Notice how this child gradually learns, from the age of four until they reach the age of accountability, to be responsible, capable of controlling their desires and managing their affairs, strong in the face of their urges, and able to perform their religious duty with full ability, confidence, and conviction. Let's consciously invest in this act of worship to build strong, capable individuals who can achieve success in this life and salvation in the hereafter.
May God help us and you to carry out our educational mission and guide us to the right path.