In kindergarten classrooms, teachers frequently witness tantrums and emotional outbursts among some children. It's a familiar scene: a child screams, throws toys, refuses to sit still, cries loudly, or hits his or her peers... all the while the teacher's confusion grows, and classroom tension begins to escalate. Is this behavior a problem? Or is it a normal expression? How can a teacher deal with it intelligently without losing control or resorting to punishment?
Are tantrums between the ages of 3-6 normal?
Yes, recent psychological and educational studies confirm that children at this age are still learning to understand their feelings.
They do not have sufficient vocabulary to express themselves. They have not yet developed self-regulation skills, which aim to reorganize the child’s emotions without suppressing them , and to help him move from a state of “emotional flood” to a state of self-regulation.
A study published by the Child Mind Institute showed that frequent temper tantrums in kindergarten-aged children are not necessarily an indicator of a behavioral disorder, but are often the result of:
- Physical exhaustion.
- Hunger.
- Deprivation of play.
- Inability to express oneself verbally.
- Or frustration with the limits imposed on them.
Educational expert Dr. Ross Green (author of "The Exploding Mind") says:
“ Children don't misbehave because they want to, but because they don't know any better. A young child needs a calm adult, not an angry one .”
Here are steps a smart teacher follows to deal with tantrums in the classroom:
First: Approach without intruding. Stay calm, as you are the emotional compass. Avoid screaming and do not appear surprised, as your stability reassures the child before he calms down. Sit next to him, but without touching him, and give him a sense of close security.
Second: Allow him to vent, not punish him. Don’t silence him immediately, but give him space to vent his feelings with phrases like:
“You look angry.” “I see you, and I’ll stay here until you calm down.” Use emotional language instead of commands.
For example, you could say, “You're upset because the game is over,” instead of, “Stop yelling.”
Third: Practice common calming techniques. These techniques are not used at the peak of the outburst , but rather when the child begins to gradually decline. They are tools that are used when he calms down, not in the midst of the crisis. Make these tools familiar to him before the outburst , so that he does not reject them when angry. Do not expect him to "respond" immediately... consistency and patience are the key.
Techniques for calming tantrums, especially in children ages 3–6, are an important tool for any teacher, parent, or early childhood professional.
Fourth: After calming down, come dialogue and understanding. Do not initiate a dialogue in the middle of a heated argument. Rather, wait until the situation calms down, then gently discuss what you have said and present the available options later.
In addition to the role of the smart teacher in managing the child's tantrums, there is the role of the school administration.
The school administration is not an external party isolated from what is happening, but rather it is the primary supporter of the teacher in these situations, and its role is through:
*Training teachers on behavior and emotion management skills.
*Provide sensory calming tools and safe spaces for venting.
*Establish an educational policy based on understanding, not punishment.
*Supporting the teacher in educational communication with the family.
Here lies the question: How does a teacher deal with a mother who is not aware of the extent of the problem?
The mother might say: “Let him get used to it, don’t spoil him,” or “He is a stubborn boy, or he is still young.”
Here are the steps the teacher takes:
*Calm down, don't argue or make judgments.
- Explain the situation scientifically, without personalizing it, and in a simplified manner: “For example, you could say that at this age, the brain’s control centers are still not fully developed, and anger is a normal part of life… We are not justifying the behavior, but rather we must teach and guide the child on how to deal with his feelings.”
- Involve the mother in a simple home support plan:
- *Calming chart - Feelings corner - Shared bedtime story.
- Provide reliable sources (video/article/podcast).
- Seek the assistance of the administration if formal guidance is required to support the educational discourse.