We welcome the month of fasting with great joy because we know the mercy, goodness, forgiveness and rewards it brings. However, our children, who are unaware of this, do not welcome it with the same joy. Rather, we hear them complaining and repeating, “Oh, tomorrow is fasting. It’s hard. Dad… Mom… I’m so hungry, I feel so thirsty, and I can’t complete my fast. I will spend the time sleeping or playing so I don’t feel hungry.”
In such situations, how do parents behave?
Do they agree to their children sleeping?
Is it right to distract them from worship so that they do not feel hungry?
What is the correct course of action to take in this behavior? How can we encourage our children to perform the Ramadan duties of fasting, praying, and reading the Quran with awareness and enthusiasm? Indeed, how can we make them love Ramadan?
Fasting is a divine approach that has been imposed since ancient times. It was not imposed on the Islamic nation alone, but rather many nations practiced it. People of different beliefs and cultures fasted in various ways. However, when Islam came, it made it a pillar that completes the religion. It imposed it on adult Muslims, and designated a month of the year for it. However, it did not impose it on children. It did not impose or specify a time for fasting or teach fasting to children, just as it specified the age of seven for prayer and gave opportunities until the age of ten. Despite not imposing it on children, the early Muslims worked hard to teach their children to fast, and this is clear in the stories of the Companions and their followers. Their cause was always to build a strong-willed, capable, and empowered personality that knew how to worship God and what the path to success is. A quick look at Ramadan education throughout the ages of Islam reveals that they began teaching their children to fast early, confident in their ability, and practiced it with awareness and patience, motivating children and accustoming them to resisting the feeling of hunger. Thirst and gradually, in accordance with the advice of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, in teaching prayer. Although prayer is repeated every day, it takes a long time for the child to get used to it and for it to become part of his daily routine. Likewise, fasting and other acts of worship require training, practice, and time to understand and get used to it. The time for fasting to be obligatory does not come until it has become an easy habit to perform.
One of the priorities in Ramadan education is to remove ignorance and raise awareness of what Ramadan and fasting are, and why they are imposed on us, so that affection and memories are created between the child and Ramadan. Among the most important things our children must learn are two things:
First: We are Muslims, which means that we submit to Allah Almighty, abstain from everything He has forbidden, and obey everything He has commanded. He says, “I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.” We obey our Lord and do not ask why, how, or what the goal is. We do what our Lord commands us with submission and confidence that it is best for us. This means that we are servants of Allah. Tell your child that we do not fast for a reward or to please anyone other than Allah, our Lord. Rather, we sincerely intend Allah alone, and He will reward us greatly. He said, “Fasting is for Me, and I will reward for it.” We fulfill worship by hearing and obeying the Lord, the Worshipped, Glory be to Him, the Most High. He is the reason for our creation to worship Him, Glory be to Him. Therefore, we fast and ask Him for reward.
Second: The child must know that fasting exists to strengthen us and make us able to control our desires and instincts, because the successful person is the one who is able to struggle with himself, correct himself and subdue himself. Fasting is the most important training to strengthen our control muscles and resist our weakness in front of what we desire, even if it is permissible and lawful, because when we are able to do that, it is easy for us to abandon sins. When we are able to fast and are able to resist hunger and thirst, we are among those who are successful in obeying God.
Parenting is a continuous, long-term process, and Ramadan has a special kind of parenting. We must engage our children early in the spirit of Ramadan and the world of fasting, and never delay. Parenting, habit-forming, and behavioral guidance experts all emphasize that starting early is an important foundation for educators. We should not leave the child away from fasting, prayer, and performing the night prayers under the pretext that he is still young... then suddenly! We force him in and ask him to fast, perform the night prayers, and read... These are stages and steps that begin early; to provide opportunities for right and wrong, and for experiences that help in understanding duties and comprehending what is required. Using methods of persuasion, endearment, support, and encouragement is the basis for success after clarifying the controls and rules, distinguishing between obligatory and responsibilities, and learning how to perform acts of worship. This is how the righteous predecessors were with their children.
Habit formation in humans begins first with knowledge, information, and direct guidance, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did: “O boy, say Bismillah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.” In doing so, he explained, guided, and provided information. Luqman also said: “O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, and forbid what is wrong.” He informs his son of what is required and guides him, and this is the beginning of education and learning. Then, after the guidance process, comes discussion and dialogue, not only for the sake of persuasion, but also for deepening, reflection, and understanding the direct and indirect meanings, benefits, and objectives. I explain to him why we should eat what is in front of us? Why do we say Bismillah? Why and how do we enjoin what is right? … And so on. Because we are different and each of us has his own style of learning, repetition and diversification of methods are important. Sometimes we use a story, another time a song, a third time practical practice, a fourth time we solve a quiz, or watch a documentary, or read a book. Repetition takes place in different ways; In order for the information to be delivered according to the child’s educational style, and to be fixed in him not only through methods but also through various benefits, social, health, etc., then comes the role of the role model. Imitation and mimicry are observable, and we see the children imitating many of the habits that educators do. Returning to the topic of fasting, we find that like all the habits that a person gets used to, it needs the same stages to be fixed and enter the individual’s social and intellectual system. Therefore, we guide the child, talk to him, discuss with him, and repeat to him in more than one way, and present him with the role model that we want him to be. What we do in front of our children has a stronger impact than what we say, and it is important for your child to see you performing acts of worship such as fasting, praying, and reading the Quran, so that they imitate you.
Children will not welcome Ramadan with joy unless they know its virtues and realize that it is a month of training and education for all Muslims, young and old. It is an opportunity to increase our capacity for patience and endurance; to be smart, collect rewards, and complete the season of goodness. We remember that what our fathers did - may Allah reward them well on our behalf - plays a major role in what appears in our behavior during Ramadan and is reflected in our performance during it. What we, in turn, do with our children will remain with them and be reflected in their personalities as well. So, come on, educators... guide your children early on toward the great goal of this divine school.