How many times has a beautiful occasion turned into crying, screaming, and tension?
How many times have parents thought that the child was "being stubborn" or "ruining the joy"?
But… what if there is a deeper reason that we are not paying attention to?
Why do some children specifically break down at gatherings and events?
We've all been in this situation:
We are on a family visit, or an occasion, or traveling, or celebrating a holiday, and we want our children to be happy, but suddenly the child starts crying, or getting angry, or clinging to his mother, or refusing to greet people.
At that moment we feel embarrassed, and we think that our child is "difficult" or "stubborn," but in reality , the problem is often not with the child, but with the situation itself .
What happens to the child?
Children love routine; they like to know when to sleep, when to eat, and when to play. This routine gives them a sense of security.
But on special occasions, everything changes suddenly:
• He sleeps late
• He eats at different times
He sees many people
Hears loud noises
He is asked to greet everyone and sit quietly.
• He gets lots of sugar and sweets
All of this is too much for his nervous system , so he gets tired, but he doesn't say, "I'm stressed"... rather, he cries or gets angry.
What should we do as a mother and father?
1) Don't schedule too many appointments in one day
One or two visits are enough; don't fill the whole day, as the child gets tired quickly.
2) Maintain some routine
They tried to:
• He sleeps close to his scheduled time
• He takes a nap
• Eats a quiet meal
• Read him a story before bedtime
These little things give him a sense of security.
3) Give the child a role
Tell him:
• You are responsible for distributing the sweets
• You open the door
• You will greet the guests with me
• You are holding this plate
When a child feels that he has a role, he behaves better.
4) Pay attention to signs of fatigue
If it starts:
• It concerns you
He gets angry easily
• He rejects peace
• He cries for no apparent reason
This usually means: I'm tired .
Take him to a quiet place for a few minutes, sit with him for a while, talk to him and hug him.
5) Do not embarrass the child in front of people.
Don't say: "Hand over! Shame on you! People are watching!"
The child may be shy or nervous.
Remember to give instructions not in front of people or loudly. Prepare the instructions before the event and give them complete instructions. Teach them gradually, not by embarrassing them.
6) Hugging is more calming than talking
When he cries, sometimes he doesn't need advice, he just needs a hug.
Remember
Your child is not crying to embarrass you, nor is he angry to ruin the visit, but because he is tired of the many people, voices, and changes .
If we want peaceful occasions with our children, remember this simple rule:
The child does not remember the number of visits…
But he remembers how he felt that day.